YOU

It's hard to tolerate your insecurities
Though I have plenty
It's easy to complain
Even so, I wish you'd maintain
It's easy to lie to you
Though I require truth
But I love you
Here's proof
I spend so much time with you
And we're always making plans
I would die for you
Sell my soul
Lose my right hand
As long as you love me
All is well

Damn you don't believe me
when I lie so eloquently
And cover my tracks too
What's a man gotta do

He's impatient, irritable
Usually stressed
But he depends on me
For his happiness
Then why lie and cheat
This will undo me
Always trying  to creep out with Suzie
YOU don't love me or you
Otherwise you'd pay closer attention
To What YOU do... Hmmmm

YOU'RE FIRED

How could I love you

When I hate you

How could I forgive you

When you persist

Every attempt to get along

You resist

Cease and desist

Love is wasted With good thoughts

And kind words

When happiness permeates

The vibration is yours

Breaking through my consciousness

With venomous force

Slashing through my resolve

Taking me off center

Giving love a bad rap

When all my energy you sap

You're a thief

A mental predator

An antagonist 

Tell me my sweet

Is it devil worship you practice

Or are you a confused Baptist 

You're love is bipolar

Leaving much to be desired 

You blood sucking vampire

You're fired                        

Dedicated to the sand paper that was my husband.

Thank you for rubbing me smooth... 

LET... LOVE... LAST... LONGER...

LOVE AND MONEY

All this is funny

War between love and money

He said he loves me

And I am his all

But love without money is sure to fall

You need something to build on

Build with

Or love becomes a precise

A dark black hole

Where dreams go to die

bills piling up

While we're making love pie

Long love making sessions

No dinner on the table

Render your heart

Not your wallet

Better hurry up

Hit your chalice

Romance without knowledge

Is sure to cause malice

You still need

So does she

Use your energy

More constructively...

#Moshia

MASTER YOUR DOMAIN

I woke up to a knock at my door
Trouble brewing
someone awake decided to ruin my sleep
with contentious malicious words
He went in
I lost my composure and broke
There must be a fire cause I smell smoke
I read him his rights in a fury
Left before I decided I was judge and Jury
Hung by his own tongue
But war is no fun
So I decided to go
Before the gun show

Am I weak
A pushover even
I think not
It takes more courage to walk away
Than to allow anger to slay the fool
Without remorse
Quickly thrown off course
By the peace stealer
I must master my domain
So I can still call myself
That EVA POWAFUL dame..

#EWAY

THE BROKEN BUTTERFLY JOURNALS # 22

ON the 1st day of the month I woke up feeling separate from my lover, still tired, blah. Then looked outside to find I was missing my car. It rained all day on and off, outside and in.
I felt for the 1st time in a long time, the crushing, crippling weight of my life's troubles boxing me in. I cried and threw things, I stretched, danced and wrote, but my heart was still alone somewhere on a deserted island. He told me several different times in several different ways we wouldn't last. Said he needed to go back to his ways in the past.
I use to feel special around him, now I feel like a burden, a leper again. I wanted so bad to be lovers and friends, but sometimes It feels like we just f*** and pretend. I am not happy, neither is he, sometimes we just pretend to be. I don't know what to do, love seems so unstable and my heart is confused, all this tug o war is love abuse.
Why can't we all just get along? Is wanting peace and ka'necctedness wrong? Everyone tells me how strong I am, but I feel so weak, always getting carried away by the words they speak. I was minding my own business when you sought me out. Now I live under your spotlight, what's that about? Seems to me you moved me where you wanted me to be, with your love-filled speech. I was an eager student, love was within reach.
But alas every thought I knew was fact. I went around in circles, just to arrive back at the truth. It didn't change, I did. I gave up most of me, just to see, I was right at 1st blush. Love should never be in a rush. If he loves me he'll wait, but he was spoiled and hasty, letting go was tasty, but now love's in ruins, only thing left is screwing, and I dry as the desert. Think I'll skip dessert and find for my worth...

#startover

Surrounded by disappointment and hate... Still I levitate... And I always will remain that EVA POWAFUL dame...

IS IT LIFE THAT DOES EVIL OR PEOPLE?

Life is always happening
Even when we sleep life is wide awake
Something always brewing
No matter what we're doing good or bad
Always fresh trouble and new struggles bubbling in the pot
I see the wicked crushing hope
And killing confidence
Without recompense,
I see the rapist n murder prosper
And turn into a philosopher,
they've figured it out
Life don't care if you live clean
God is just friggin mean
Only the wicked get it
Just ask Patrick
Perfectly healthy
Wealth in tact
Only his victims are off track
Justice is just ice
Life ain't nice to pussys
Just the ones who push me
Would you care if I was at the edge ready to jump
Or would I just be giving you exactly what you want?
They say life is evil
but it's people that do evil
Life is just a word,
Something to blame for being nasty
And causing pain
I've never seen the devil
I saw true evil
Through people...

#angrygirlspazzingonpaper