THE BROKEN BUTTERFLY JOURNALS # 25

I missed him, so I stopped reading, stopped writing and decided to ask him to come in the room and chill with me. I thought a movie would be nice, a massage and a head start maybe. He was watching the reviews of some game on tv.. How about he told me I was selfish, Is there anyone out there with a penis, where did I go wrong? HUH? I just started to cry and decided I wanted back my old life. It made more sense.
I need to stop obsessing about him and focus on manifesting.
Focus is everything, which is why I'm very careful about what I choose to focus on. Always guarding my eye gates and ears, to only let the good in so I can stay positive and focus on good things. Some people find the way I choose to live aggravating, but it's my life and my choice, they need to go make some decisions of their own. This is how the broken butterfly roll. I know myself, I know what's best for me. I've made certain decisions along the way and while I'm willing to share my life and compromise certain things, the things regarding my mental health and emotional stability are written in stone. If that's hard to understand I suggest leaving me alone.
I don't watch the news, I don't read tabloids, I prefer not to listen to music that degrades women, I don't indulge in watching prejudice, perverted or twisted movies, and that's just me. This might seem geeky but that's just me. These choices were made of necessity, because they are indeed necessary. Every man has a right to choose. I AM woman and I have chosen. Some say I am crazy and I live in my own world, but we all do, it just happens I'm not pointing the finger at you.
I try not to infringe upon the rights of others. I Try to understand their pain, I try to act accordingly, It's etched in my brain. I require the same kindness. I fully realize that everyone has issues and I can accept people for who they are or leave them to grow, I require the same.

I can't be the picture you'd like to paint
And I won't get bent out of shape
I am already a masterpiece
But you keep trying to recreate me
If you can't love me the way I am
Leave me alone 
To find someone who can...

-Moshia'

#icanonlybeme...

MY THOUGHTS ON SEX

I like to have sex

And when I do

It feels like I become one with my lover

He and I wrapped up in each other

Our hearts clap hands in unison

The separation ends temporarily

Our breathing and movements match perfectly

We vibrate on the same plane

We create love

Express love

We connect and combine energy

Every-time he makes love to me

All that we are becomes one

New life has begun

I Love making love to a partner 

That loves me and I him

This way it actually has meaning

Sex should be sacred

Between 1 man and 1 woman

Who are totally in love 

It is the ultimate expression of 

LOVE

Mating, Joining, coupling 

Skin connecting to skin

Connecting to heart 

Connecting to body and soul

Sometimes MIND too

Total oneness just between us two 

That's where we create

And recreate ourselves

Multiplying and manifesting

Now we're really sexing

Without the glove

I think sex is best

When you're in-love...

-Moshia'

#justmythoughts...

THE BROKEN BUTTERFLY JOURNALS # 24

I've been reading "Sex Magic for Beginners " by Skye Alexander (a book about sexual transmutation), which I thought would be very sexual, but actually it's very metaphysical. Had I truly believed it was metaphysical, I would have already read it.
Anyway it discusses intention, writing to manifest, the power of words, even the effects of words on water. 
I am very impressed ( 6 chapters in ).















Yesterday I wrote Courtney a poem called "You Are Beautiful". It's strange but, he just walked out the door on to the balcony where I sat reading my book and asked "are you writing" I responded "no", and then he went back in. I smiled inside and grabbed my pencil and book to write and voila.

Each time I write
There is something inside me
That's always ready to criticize me
It always tells me "you can do better"
Which leaves me feeling dissatisfied
No matter how hard I tried

I'm not angry with my art
But I always thought
The best part was the feeling of fulfillment
Maybe I don't feel this
Because all of this is just practice
To get my feet
On fulfillment street

Well thanks I feel much better
I'll just continue without getting weary
One day the world will feel me
And I will feel fulfilled
Anyway
These lines brought me much comfort
Thank you Source
All the praise is yours...

-Moshia'

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

I marvel @ his beauty

His light shines so bright

And praise my creator

For our meeting that 1st night

He is always positive and driven

Utilizing what he's been given

Talented and courageous

Ready to defend what's his

His family, his country

Even those that oppose him

Loving and patient

His kindness knows no end

Genuine and thoughtful

And he's good to all his friends

I admire all these qualities

And hope the others will understand

Why I passed by them all

And gave my heart to this man...

-Moshia'

THE BROKEN BUTTERFLY JOURNALS # 23

Today my horoscope said: IF I CAN THINK OR SAY IT THEN I CAN HAVE IT. Then it said: Don't waste this ENERGY...
Hmm... What motivation. So I started writing my metaphysical commands again, immediately after reading that. I had slacked off since last year. The difference is evident in my life.
Well time to stop messing around and do what I do best. MANIFEST...
Sometimes the struggle and the troubles and friends turning to frienemies, can suck you dry and sap your energy. Which can cause you to embrace discouragement, depression and frustration even fear, but like Maya Angelou " I RISE", like Lauren Hill "I GET OUT OF ALL THOSE BOXES", like Martin Luther King "I HAVE A DREAM", and like Naruto Uzumaki "I WILL BE HOKAGE OF MY VILLAGE". Lol.
I am so grateful for the direction my creator is steering me in. Gladly I AM back in the flow of things...
Flowing gently with the stream.

I AM energized
to organize
And put my life back to rights
I have everything I need
To succeed
Right here @ my disposal
My mind is in tact
CLEAR
Like clean water
My body is in perfect health
Thanks to MIND
My creator
The children are in order
And my man is in my ear
Like "You can do it Girl
Me and you
We will conquer the world
Plus I can do anything
I set my mind to
EVA POWAFUL
Need I remind you...

-Moshia' Eva Powaful Pen.............

  Hope you like the daily ramblings of THE BROKEN BUTTERFLY on her way FROM BROKEN TO BEAUTIFUL.

SELFISH

Sexual arousal makes us very selfish.

Sometimes rude and downright offensive 

Not to mention expensive. 

It's a sensitive topic to discuss 

but we gon talk about it or bust. 

Let's rename it lust 

And stop tryn to be cute. 

When the front end lifts and hardens

May god pardon your soul

That's usually when shit gets outa control

Cuchies are a mess too

Evidenced by what some girls do

But not U girl

Them other ones

Who pretend to be angelic 

But use their twat to cause damage

To taunt and lure the weak one 

Who's already entangled... 

Hmm dirty pool my girl,

Now his home life has been dismantled

What a crying shame 

All in the name of lust

I refuse to allow this devious emotion 

To rule me 

And use my vagina to screw me 

I am a mf G

You aint know

You betta ask somebody

You can be too if you choose to be

Cause it's all about choices

So choose wisely 

Play nicely... 

 #dropyourdisguisesandbereal...

FEAR IS NOT AN OPTION...

Step forward into the light
Everything you are will be seen
Embrace your individuality
Wear your divinity with pride
Exuding confidence in every stride 
Hold your head high
There is only one you
Perfect in all dimensions
Just what your life required

Pay close attention to you
you are a marvelously exquisite creature
Each intricate detail
Took shape in the mind of the creator

We must step forth boldly
With polished talents at the ready
We all possess a special gift
To contribute as we grow
Fear is not an option
Boldly we must sew...