ALONE AGAIN

Well I am free again. For the first time in my life, I got dumped. Lol. Serves me right. Anyway every other time I thought it was over I cried my eyes out, thinking of all the things I would miss. But I don't keep dwelling on things that are not soon to change. It didn't make us happy. He obsessed about inconsequential things and maybe so did I. But as I told him before we got started, I sincerely hope we both find happiness, I still say the same now. I have come to the realization that I am not ready for love. I will never be if my honesty and openness will always be used as a weapon against me. I refuse to be treated as a whore, when I know my intentions are pure. He taught me something though, fear and paranoia will drive you to destroying all possibility of happiness. I saw myself in him. But I will not allow my fears to destroy me. I wanna love him but he's too far from me.

I remember in the beginning

I had the feeling he was not mine

Now I feel stupid

I should have listened to my guide

And avoided all this pain inside

Still, I had to prove it

I don't mind being alone or celibate

But he felt so good in my arms

And I'll miss the way he looked at me

Always telling me I'm beautiful

To be truthful those days quickly passed anyway

He was more concerned with my pass than today

Here I am right before you

Open to you

So inlove

Yet you're distracted

My past is all you can think of

Presently, I am here waiting for you to love me

But you're distraction tells

Exactly what you think of me

Shame on me

For not trusting myself

And going back on my word

I deserve...

-Moshia'