VENTING IN MY DIARY

by Erica Freckleton

I wasted 20 years of my life having a bunch of kids that don't care about me. I  gave them life so they would love me, but they don't. I've spent the last 20 years bending over backwards to support and protect them. I've stripped, sold drugs, sold myself, gone to jail and stayed with a man who abused me for years. You name it, she's done it. She did it for love like Anthony Hamilton. She's still loveless.

Tears and regret she has plenty

Otherwise she's totally empty

I had hoped one day life would be kind to me

But my demise I was too blind to see

I would like to move on

But what's the use

Move to where

To what

For what

Guess I better hurry up

And lie to myself that life is great

Before god gets angry and retaliate

Thank you for my life, thank you for my health, Thank you for a place to park my car, a place to sleep and food to eat.

Thank you that I'm safe and free. I am gtrateful for all my good and I fully realize, nothing has to be good for me.

I am just a tool the universe uses to bare children and take care of people, and one day I will be useless to you

and only then will I die..

I just write away my blues, fears, and insecurities... I love my kids and I know they love me. People can be very selfish, especially children, (some) but experience changes things. I post after I write my self out of the wilderness of self pity to let others that are still there know they are not alone. And I know company offers comfort...